Woof Woof

Woof, Woof Week or Woof, Woof Weekend. I don’t hate Monday’s because I have no idea what day it is. I don’t care about yesterday and I don’t worry about tomorrow. I only care about what is happening right now! Make everyday count. So whatever day it is, enjoy it like I do!

Cheers, The Dog.  

 

Woof Woof

Woof, Woof is one of my communication tools that I use and it means many things. It could mean come and play, go away or who’s there? I use other noises like growls and whines to commute as well but I mostly use non verbal cues like body language. We all speak the same language not like humans.  

A lot of the time I have no idea what you are saying until you show or train me to understand. Your language can be hard to interpret not like mine it’s easy to me and other dogs. So woof, woof I speak dog. Try it sometime and we will commuicate just fine. 

Cheers, The Dog. 

P.S check out my woof woof jokes a couple of posts back. 

 

Woof Woof

Woof, Woof.

Who’s There?

Wolf.

Wolf Who?

Wolf whistle, now I have your attention.

*****

Woof, Woof.

Who’s There?

Jackal.

Jackal Who?

Jackal and Hyde, I brought a friend.

*****

Woof, Woof.

Who’s There?

Retriever.

Retriever Who?

Retriever the ball yourself!

*****

Woof, Woof.

Who’s There?

Heeler.

Heeler Who?

I’ll Heeler all of your troubles away.

*****

Woof, Woof.

Who’s There?

Corgi.

Corgi Who?

Corgi Jones, I’m Welsh.

*****

Woof, Woof.

Who’s There?

Labrador.

Labrador Who?

Lab at door now let me in.

*****

Woof, Woof.

Who’s There?

Pug.

Pug Who?

Pug in the middle.

*****

Woof, Woof.

Who’s There?

German Pointer.

German Pointer Who?

German Pointer me in the right direction, I’m lost.

*****

Woof, Woof.

Who’s There?

Chihuahua.

Chihuahua Who?

Tequila anyone?

*****

Woof, Woof.

Who’s There?

Fox.

Fox Who?

Foxy Lady, so foxy Jimi Hendrix wrote a song about me.

*****

Woof, Woof.

Who’s There?

Hound.

Hound Who?

Hounding you to open the door.

*****

Woof, Woof.

Who’s There?

Kelpie.

Kelpie Who?

I’m here to Kelpie move your sheep.

*****

Woof, Woof.

Who’s There?

Whippet.

Whippet Who?

Whippet the cream, I’m hungry.

*****

Woof, Woof.

Who’s There?

Shepherd.

Shepherd Who?

Shepherd’s pie let’s eat.

*****

Woof, Woof.

Who’s There?

Poodle.

Poodle Who?

Sorry I Poodle on the floor.

*****

Woof, Woof.

Who’s There?

Bulldog.

Bulldog Who?

I’m a Bulldog that takes no Bull****.

*****

Woof, Woof.

Who’s There?

Spaniel.

Spaniel Who?

I don’t speak Spanish.

*****

Woof, Woof.

Who’s There?

Doberman.

Doberman Who?

Doberman me lying on the couch.

*****

Woof, Woof.

Who’s There?

Great Dame.

Great Dame Who?

Great Dame let me in its cold out here.

*****

Woof, Woof.

Who’s There?

Mastif.

Mastif Who?

A Mastif dog I have been working out.

*****

Woof, Woof.

Who’s There?

Collie.

Collie Who?

Collie flower, I smell like roses when I roll in cow poo.

*****

Woof, Woof.

Who’s There?

Irish Setter.

Irish Setter Who?

Irish Setter up the Guinness, Its always beer o’clock somewhere.

*****

Woof, Woof.

Who’s There?

Husky.

Husky Who?

Husky throat, I need a cough lolly.

*****

Woof, Woof.

Who’s There?

Greyhound.

Greyhound Who?

Tag your it, I’ll race you.

*****

Woof, Woof.

Who’s There?

Boxer.

Boxer Who?

Boxer who floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee, this Boxers name is Muhammad Ali.

*****

Woof, Woof.

Who’s There?

Pitbull.

Pitbull Who?

I’m a lover not a fighter.

*****

Woof, Woof.

Who’s There?

Rottweiler.

(Human) **** I’m out of here.

*****

Woof, Woof.

Who’s There?

Terrier.

Terrier Who?

Terrier you up if you don’t laugh at my jokes.

*****

Woof, Woof.

Who’s There?

Rest of the dog breeds.

Rest of the dog breeds who?

Rest of the dog breeds that love Humans too.

*****

Forever Cheering You Up, The Dog.

Woof Woof Jokes by Adam Frook, The Dog View

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The Predictor

I can predict the future and I am a great predictor. Most of the time I predict the right outcome. I haven’t got a crystal ball or anything like that and I can’t predict your future. I predict my future. More so I predict the moment or what is going to happen next. I predict it by being in tune with my environment and by watching you. I learn to predict from experience, knowledge and with my superior senses.

Predicting things is how I have survived for millions of years. Some of us have predicted natural disasters, weather events, illness, seizures and when women go into labour. I do this because I sense things. I sense changes in the environment and I sense changes in you. I get to do this really well with what I have learnt by experience or with training.

With you I predict what is going to happen next by watching you and feeling your energy. I watch what you do, I see your body language, your expressions, I see what you are wearing or what you are carrying and I predict it all to a certain event. I associate things. Like when you have the car keys and my lead I know that I am going for a ride. Or you put on your walking sneakers it means I’m going for a walk. I know when you are going to work when you put on your work uniform (it doesn’t have to be a uniform as such but clothes you normally wear for work). So with you, I match things (or items) to events to predict the outcome.

Sometimes I don’t predict things right. If I constantly get the prediction game wrong then I will get depressed because that’s what I do well and that’s my thing. So to make it easy for me you can add commands or hand signals to the actions, a bit like charades, which with time I will become an expert at. This makes it very easy for me when something can mean different things. Like you pick up the car keys, which could mean that I’m going for a ride or that you are going for a ride without me. By adding commands/signals to the action I will know exactly when it is my ride or not. Allowing me to easily predict something could mean the difference between me being a good dog or a really frustrated dog. You don’t want me to be frustrated and I don’t want to be frustrated.

I only want to be ‘Dog the Great Predictor!’

Cheers, The Dog.

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